Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
