At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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