you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
