i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
