Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
