Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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(636): View more from Missouri

I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses

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(406): View more from Montana

I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!

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