I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
