batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
