i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
