Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
