Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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