You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
