feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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