omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
this hospital has no fireball
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize