he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
