i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
