I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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