I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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