just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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