we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
