How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
