How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Less talking, more tequila
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
