4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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