I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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