Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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