So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
