Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
