I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
