All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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