I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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