Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
