I got chris browned last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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