Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize