I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
