I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
