Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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