Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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