the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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