Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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