i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize