I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize