Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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