I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize