Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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