yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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