hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
