im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
