Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
