She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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