turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my liver is dry heaving
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
