I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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