Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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