Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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