i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
