i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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