I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she was so not down for the gang bang
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
