Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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