I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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