no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
