stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You are a genius and a whore.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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