Can i not drive my cunt home
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Are we still banned from the library?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
