Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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