nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need moral support for this bender
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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