but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
