It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize