don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
